TRUST

Do you trust God?  Do you believe he knows what he's doing?  There are times in my life when I felt like He was indifferent...or even absent all together.  I look back now on those times and can see His hand in the situation, but when I'm in the middle of it, I feel like He has abandoned me.  He didn't abandon me, I lost faith and trust in Him.  I was the one who left, not Him. Do you know what I mean?  Have you ever been there?

When I went through my divorce in 2001, it was a very lonely time for me.  People in the church that I attended pointed fingers at me, were angry at me and very judgmental.  I felt even a little bit of disconnect from my family.  The life I was supposed to have lived was now ending and I was beginning a new chapter.  I had 2 small children to take care of, I was alone and I lost my church family.  That first summer after my divorce was a blur...I tried to find acceptance in new friendships and in the process felt more alone than ever.  These friends didn't love Jesus and at that time in my life, I didn't feel like Jesus loved me anymore.   I began my life of singleness and my life became very lonely.  I withdrew into myself and kept a lot of things on the inside.  I finally got to a point one night in the middle of the night that I found myself on my knees crying in physical pain because of the deep hole that was in my heart.  I hit rock bottom.  Because of disapproval from others, I had pushed everyone away and found myself more alone than ever.  I was heartbroken and crying before God that night - Where are you??  Why does this life hurt so much??  On my knees, broken, I was able to look up.  I wish I could say from that day forward life began to get better.  It didn't.  But, I knew I was not alone.  I knew that God was with me.   He knew what I felt, how alone I was because He had felt that too at one point in His life here on earth.  Everything we feel God has already experienced....brokenness, sadness, abandonment.  He was the only one who could lift my head and say "I understand.  I'm with You".  

Psalm 16:11 David writes:  "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

When things around us feel out of control, when we feel scared, empty, alone, abandoned, we need to remember the lyrics of the song posted above:  He is with is, He is with us, Always....Our God is with us.  I've had that song in my head for the last few days, so I decided to share it with you.  God put it on my heart for a reason - so maybe someone out there needs to know that God is with them.  Share this with them.  Maybe its you.  The holidays can be a very lonely time of year due to divorce, death, hurt feelings, abandonment.  But we must remember that God knows what He's doing even when we feel like He doesn't.  Its a heart thing, not a head thing.  He knows what He's doing and HE IS WITH US.  It all comes down to TRUST.  Do you Trust God??