Peace in the Pause

A few years ago I felt God stirring in my heart to "tell my story".  You see, I grew up in a small town in Northern Indiana, a child of divorce in a church that some would now consider a "cult".   I've had many experiences through life because of my upbringing and God has shown himself in many ways.  So, in my calling, I assumed I was to write a book.  

I've never written a book.  I've never really written much, except my journals.  So, with good intentions of my heart, I sat down and tried to write a book.  Didn't happen.  I didn't know where to start, what to do, what direction to take it.  I've struggled now for a few years thinking I'm supposed to write a book and nothing has happened.  Well, life has happened.  

I'm a single mom.  In these years I've raised 2 boys, taken care of a home, been the sole income earner in my home and had to deal with all the issues most women have a husband to help with. So, when would I have time to write a book?  I tried in my own POWER to do what I thought God wanted me to do...instead of waiting on God to tell me when and how to proceed forward.  So, in the time of PAUSE, I started writing blog posts.  

It occurred to me this morning that these posts very much tell my story.  I've shared some of my past, but what I've shared most is what God is teaching me through his word.  There have been pauses in my writing - either because I wasn't spending time with Him and listening, or because I was just busy doing life.  I'm at a season in my life now where the kids are gone to college and I'm starting to have more time to listen to God. 

I've done a lot of whining and crying - wondering why he has me hanging out in the pasture when I want to go running down the hillside. I've wanted to run ahead of God and do things on my own, and in the process he has closed doors, and some he has even slammed in my face.   When He told me to tell my story, I thought he meant my past.  But, now, He very well could have been meaning my present and in the pause is preparing me for my future.  I'm to tell what I'm doing while hanging out in the pasture, waiting for my shepherd to lead me to greener pastures.  You see, I have to get all I can glean from the pasture I'm in before I can enjoy the one that is ahead of me.  If I rush through this one, I may miss something really good.

Where do you feel God wants you to go?  Do you feel like you are stuck where you are?  I do.  But, when you feel that way and when I feel that way, we need to pause and ask God "What is it you are trying to teach me in this pasture?"  Many lessons will be learned at each one and we need to get as much nourishment and growth out of each one.

James 1:2 (MSG) "So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let [a test or challenge] do its work so you become mature and well- developed, not deficient in any way."

So, today, I urge you to find Peace in the Pause.  Instead of being anxious about moving forward, ask God what He wants you to learn where you are, being READY and willing to take the next steps forward when He says you are ready.